'The Funniest, Stupidest Things Ever Said' by Celebs

by Hannah Punitha on Oct 2 2008 11:32 AM

Madonna once said: "I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon... but I want to stay alive," Beyonce Knowles said: "When people find out that I'm just a human being I guess I disappoint them." Well, these are some of A-listers' famous ludicrous utterings, which have now been compiled in a new book.

'Dim Wit: The Funniest, Stupidest Things Ever Said' by Rosemarie Jarski, offers wackiest quotes by celebrities, reports the Daily Star.

Below are some more:

England football star Rio Ferdinand: "Our club captain Gary Neville's been out for a year now, but Giggsy has taken up the mantelpiece."

West Ham star Kieron Dyer: "I'm 28 now and they say you peak at 28 - so my best years are still ahead of me."

Film star Ewan McGregor: "Isn't Halle Berry the most beautiful woman? I have a film I'd like to be in her with - I mean I'd like to be with her in."

Paul McCartney's ex-wife Heather Mills: "When you find your soulmate, you could sleep under their armpits."

Rapper Eminem: "England? England is in London right?"

Actress beauty Kate Beckinsale: "I'm surprised there aren't more celebrities in burkhas."

Spice Girl Victoria Beckham: "What do you wear on a running machine? I can't bring myself to wear flat shoes."

Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton: "I like my mug shot. I think I have a really great mug shot. It looks like a magazine shoot."

* Designer and model Jade Jagger: "What gorgeous staff I have. I can't understand those who have ugly people working for them."

TV football pundit and England star Alan Shearer: "One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."

Singer Christina Aguilera: "My grandma was like: 'Oh, Christina, you look like a whore!' I explained that's the idea."

Actor Russell Crowe: "You can't understand it until you experience the simple joy of the first time your son points at a seagull and says 'Duck!'"

Ex England skipper David Beckham: "I remember so clearly us going into hospital so Victoria could have Brooklyn. I was eating a Lion Bar at the time."

Former Big Brother starJade Goody: "If you chopped off my head, I'd still carry on talking, because the head stays alive for a bit. I've seen that in films."

TV star and singer Kelly Osbourne: "If more families were like us the world would be a better place."

Pop star James Blunt: "I always wanted to be a Muppet."

Governor Arnold Schwarz-enegger: "I think gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."