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Incest in India-How Safe are Our Daughters?

by Gopalan on  March 28, 2009 at 12:12 PM India Special   - G J E 4
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Austrian incest father Josef Fritzl's trial shook the West like never before. But how serious is the prevalence of incest in India? How safe are our own daughters from their depraved fathers and uncles?



Incest in India-How Safe are Our Daughters?
Incest in India-How Safe are Our Daughters?

Leading Indian dailies reported the bizarre news of a Mumbai businessman who was arrested for raping his daughter for nine years on the advice of a 'tantrik' to improve his business. The 21-year-old daughter exposed her 'rapist' father after he began sexually abusing her younger sister, a class 10 student, at the astrologer's behest. Following the Mumbai sisters' revelation, a 21-year old college student in Amritsar picked up courage to complain about her father who sexually abused her for eight years. The girl's traumatized mother who knew about it all along said, "My husband would always find a pretext to send me away so he could be alone with our daughter." Likewise, a 15-year old's complaint of prolonged sexual abuse by her father led to the 35-year-old father's arrest in Nagpur.

Various surveys have been conducted on the issue, and many report widespread prevalence of child sexual abuse (CSA) and incest in the country. Though the authenticity of such data and the methodology have been questioned, the point is, sheer anecdotal evidence itself is quite disturbing. "Bitter Chocolate" by Pinki Virani, documenting the dark world of incest and CSA, is based on the author's own devastating experience. The book created a sensation back in 2000. There are many Viranis all around us.

Incest Victim Talks

P Sowmya* (name changed) was barely out of her college when she got a proposal for marriage from a friend. "I almost jumped at it. We got married even before I was out of college, and left for the United States. Of course, it did not have my family's consent."

In the States, life proved tough. Her husband turned out to be an abuser, and it was months before Sowmya could figure out a way to come back to India. "I did not want to go back to my family. I took the help of a lawyer, got divorce and pursued my studies again. It took me a while to get a degree and land a decent job. That phase was nightmarish," Sowmya recalls with a shudder.

Why did Sowmya choose to accept the first proposal that came her way? "Not because I really liked the guy, but I was desperate to escape my father," she responded, trying hard not to betray her revulsion.

Sowmya's father started abusing her sexually ever since she was ten. "When my mother died, it only got more convenient for him. It was sickening, but then he was my dad, who was also showering affection on me and taking care of me...I won't talk to anyone of that, but at the first opportunity, I left him. I didn't realize then, the man I chose was worse..."

When prodded, Sowmya confesses to having sexual problems with her husband. "He was just too violent. I could not handle it. I was reminded of my father, again and again," she says. It is difficult to guess how violent the man was or whether it was the trauma of her childhood that prevented Sowmya from trying to sort out her problems with her husband.

Experts Speak on Incest and Child Sexual Abuse

G. Manjula, an activist with a woman's organization in Chennai observes that Sowmya's case is typical of child sexual abuse victims. "Such persons are bound to have both psychological and physical problems. If left untreated, they would feel a sense of shame, guilt and betrayal. They would have low self-esteem and feel worthless. CSA victims cannot be comfortable in close relationships. Contrarily, they can also be very dependent and clingy. Physical problems include stomach disturbances, illnesses, aches and pains.

"CSA leaves a deep scar in the child's mind. Unless healed properly and in time, it would just not be possible for the child to lead a normal life," adds Manjula.

But Ms.Vidya Reddy, who runs an organization called Tulir-CPHCSA (Centre for Prevention and Healing of Child Sexual Abuse) in Chennai, asserts that such need not be the case at all and that many can and do summon the inner resources required to get over the trauma and lead a normal life. Of course an appropriate intervention programme and a supportive environment would make a world of difference, she added.

However, she warned,"Most people imagine abusers to be shadowy and frightening strangers with a psychiatric disorder." In fact, often an abuser is a "regular" person who leads a "routine" life and is known to the victim, but has no inhibition or qualms over having sex with children." Abusers can range from family members to acquaintances and someone the victim trusts explicitly. Rarely are abusers complete strangers.

The Hidden Rot in 'Conservative' Families?

Experts apprehend a lot of it goes unreported and say efforts should be made to address the problems peculiar to the Indian familial structure. Possibly the tight-knit family structure, the domineering role of the fathers and uncles, the submissiveness of women who are mute witnesses to gross injustice and the ingrained tendency not to allow "family shame" to be exposed whatever the cost, are factors that help the abusers get away with it all - as perhaps will happen in the case of Sowmya's father, referred to earlier. He will never be brought to justice.

Incest: Legal Angle

Sudha Ramalingam, lawyer and activist with the People's Union for Civil Liberties points out that if a father perpetrates abuse on his daughter, he could well be arrested for custodial offences. "But in a society like India, the family wants to protect both the perpetrator and the victim. That is why most of such crimes go unnoticed. They are anxious to protect the child's future and safeguard the reputation of the family. The psychological and physical impact it would have on a child is rarely taken into consideration."

Interestingly, Indian laws do not even recognize incest as a crime but rape and sexual abuse, especially on minors, are serious crimes relating to incest. In fact, the Delhi High Court is considering framing guidelines for conducting investigation and prosecution in crimes relating to incest in the wake of several incest cases surfacing at present. Ms. Ramalingam believes that the existing laws would suffice to punish the perpetrators of crimes like incest and CSA.

"It is the abundance of laws that sometimes leads to problems. Take Domestic Violence Act for example. Now the All Women Police Stations comfortably shirk their duties because under Domestic Violence Act, a protection officer can be responsible for crimes against women. The victims would be made to run from pillar to post to be heard. Thus choosing a forum to which one can turn in times of a crisis becomes a problem by itself. And so it would do good to use the existing laws with better sensitivity to prevent such horrid incidents," the activist lawyer said.

Incest in the Indian Context

Dr Narayana Reddy, Chennai-based sexologist, says that incest is contextually different in India. "It is customary in our culture for uncles to marry nieces. Technically speaking, that is also incest. We just need to use the term carefully. But beyond that, I would say incest is prevalent in India and there should be a separate legislation to handle the crime."

Dr Reddy, however, says that the offenders too are likely to have psychological problems. "They appear to be normal but they would not be. In several cases, the offenders are adolescents. Adolescence is a crucial time for intervention and treatment."

K. Anand, a Chennai based psychoanalyst agrees that offenders could themselves have serious psychological problems. "In most cases, it could be a traumatized childhood. Even in the case of Joseph Fritzl, his mother was apparently abusive of him when he was a kid. She must have been a single mother because she has worked to raise him. Having said this, I would also like to add that CSA or incest is a crime that should be dealt with severely. The point is that the larger issue of psychological problems should also be addressed to make sure that the issue is tackled effectively."

Anand cites an example of one of his clients. "She was abused by her uncle when she was just ten. It turned out that the person was sexually deprived by his wife who was a god-woman of sorts. But while certainly it does not exonerate such persons, it also helps us to see things in perspective. From a victim's point of view, everything boils down to guilt, self-hatred and a feeling of loss."

Anand also points to another aspect of the issue. "In some ways, our much vaunted spirituality itself could be said to be entwined with sexuality. There are cults wherein the devotees are required to perform sex in front of the tantriks. What happened in the Mumbai businessman's case is an example," he says. In the circumstances, incest in India is different from the West. "So it would not help to use Western methods to deal with the problem," Anand adds.

The consensus then is that child sexual abuse and incest are multi-dimensional problems and accordingly they have to be addressed at different levels. But easily the most important thing is increasing awareness among the girls and encouraging them to speak out against perpetrators of the crime, without fear or shame. Counselors and NGOs who work with victims of sexual abuse and incest agree that awareness could begin in schools. However, in a predominantly 'conservative' Indian society where even sex education is stiffly opposed, raising such sensitive issues in school would be highly controversial. Unless responsible adults wake up to the reality of incest in India, our daughters will continue to believe they are destined to suffer the ignominy of sexual abuse in silence.

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Incest is so far not illegel in India. There is no Indian law prohibiting sex between related couples. The Government of India can not legislate on incest because India has all and sundry anthropological versions of marriage happening on its soil. Apart from cousin marriages and uncle and neice marriages, even mother-son marriages are common too in an Indian tribe called Baigas [Madhya Pradesh]. Meghalayans marry their mother-in-law. Women in a tribe called Todas (Tamilnadu) simultaneously marry 3 or 4 husbands. So, where and to who can the govt. set a limit and in what way ?
Flestrin Tuesday, June 05, 2012
Those who wrote this article and those who commented on it are missing on one important point - the consensual incest. Furthermore, all incest is being mistakenly interpretted as an act of brutal coercion on the part of a male blood relation. But facts speak otherwise. Forced incest is infrequent compared to the consensual one. Incest does not mean just that between a father and his daughter or an uncle and his niece. It has many avtars involving mother and son and each every realtionship. So, incest has been there since times immemorial. Anti-incest laws have been there in Europe but they are gradually doing away with them, having found that there is effectively no way incest could be checked. So, now in Switzerland, a birth-son and his birth-mother can marry like any other couple. There is no way to rid the society of its millenia-long incestuous practices, no matter, how stringent your laws are. Real incest is consensual and happens within the confines of the four walls. So, they can not be detected. Therefore, while anti-incest laws succeed in instilling fear in non-incestuous people, they prove themselves to be miserably ineffective in the case of the really incestuous ones. Resultantly, poeple will be afraid of speaking of a case of incest even when it comes to their notice. Moreover, psychologicaly, the fact of prohibition adds to the pleasure of incest.
Flestrin Tuesday, June 05, 2012
Sowmya I really like your courage. Being an Indian daughter you have shown the courage of a real Devi. May you have a happy future. I am sure there are people who would be there when you need them, I know I will be there any time.
Humhainna Thursday, April 12, 2012
Incest is taboo in every society. it is shame for the societies. some people say globally it is on rise. It is a bad thing that should not be happen. Scientifically it creates problem to the children.there are 50% chance that child may be handicapped in many ways even unable to survive. According to religion this is great sin. I think everybody knows all these things. then why it is happened??? there are so many reasons behind it as 1-there is modernisation everywhere, todays world is impressed by glamour and fashion. Girls and ladies have forgot about their privacy. They show their flash. so they attract abusers at home and outside home. 2- In developing countries like india the sex ratio is very poor. there is lack of females everywhere. this is also cause sexual abuses.we should save the girl child so that the ratio become balanced. 3-In todays culture marriage is happened very late which also causes sexual abuses. Marriages should be done around 18 years for girls and 20 years for boys. 4-People have lost moral and they are going far from religion. Most people do not know basic fundamental of religion. and lack of sense. so do such heineous act. there should be regular teaching at our religious place of moral that are good for societies. 5-Girls and ladies should be resistive to any incest they should not compromise and should raise alarm. Etc..... if all preventive measures are followed we will never face such an incident
john_00712 Sunday, October 09, 2011
The problem is moreso with people exploiting power they have over others [like parent over child] rather than incest itself, which is not a problem unless people are equal or if they consolidate recessive disease genes.
tyciol Monday, February 28, 2011
Wow that's really disgusting to even imply that it is ok, how would you like the person who gave you life to come to your bed at night as a child and sodomize or rape you? that itself is traumatising let alone the psychological and physical trauma, and if impregnated biological problems could kill or defect the baby because it is NOT RIGHT BY NATURE!
robocop Thursday, March 17, 2011
Is just because Brahma married his own sarawati[daughter], which does not mean everyone can do it. Shame on these despos'
Rock_G Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Did Brahma have authority over his daughter? I think the main difference is that Brahma was moral but we can't rely on humans to be moral so we forbid it when people have too much power over the other, as parents do.
tyciol Monday, February 28, 2011
its now common in India....my dear colleagues [i am stating this as citizens of indian ] to please restrict it .And those who are following it, its shameless in ur part
soumya85 Thursday, December 23, 2010
Even sex between siblings are heard,which too I dont approve, and ,may be,instances might be increasing.But sex with daughter is not a normal phenomenon.Only persons who are patients of acutest of acute mental disorder can dream of sex with daughters.Such Fathers need pshyciatric help first and severe imprisonment in due course. Please stand up ,please, to protect daughters Rajeshwar
raj3110 Monday, December 20, 2010
I was thrilled when my first baby was my daughter. I'm yet to understand how a person could be so sick and perverted to sexually abuse someone. Being a lawyer I always feel that law should show no mercy to persons who sexually abuse their daughters, sisters or even wife. As a lawyer I would always be ready to help such women by advising them legally.
alokyadav Friday, June 25, 2010
Yes it is right, incest is illegal and i must say we have to take instant action against it and try to spread strong awareness about it.

Thanks for guidance

dhruv276 Saturday, May 22, 2010

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