Yes. Most people talk to themselves daily - it helps with focus, motivation, and emotional regulation.

Why is third-person self-talk more effective?

It builds emotional distance, helping your brain respond more calmly.

Can it reduce anxiety long-term?

Potentially - small effects can add up with consistent practice.

No. Studies found no link between self-talk style and narcissism.

Can kids learn this technique?

Yes. Teaching children to use distanced self-talk before exams or games can improve confidence and coping.

Talking to Yourself in Third Person May Calm Pre-Performance Anxiety

A study in Scientific Reports shows that talking to yourself in the third person - using your own name - can slightly improve mood and emotional control before stressful events, offering a simple tool to manage performance anxiety.

Highlights:

Third-person self-talk boosted mood before tasks or performances
Few people used it naturally — but when they did, it worked
The effect was small yet consistent, showing how language shapes emotion

Most of us talk to ourselves every day, offering pep talks, overthinking worries, or mentally rehearsing tasks. But how we phrase that inner dialogue might matter more than we realize. A new study from the University of Michigan and other U.S. researchers suggests that using your own name, talking to yourself in the third person (“You can do this, (Name)”) instead of the first person (“I can do this”) can slightly improve mood and focus, especially before stressful or high-performance moments ().

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TOP INSIGHT

Did You Know?
When the pressure’s on, a simple “You’ve got this, [Name]” might actually help. #mentalhealth #selftalk #anxiety #psychology #mindfulness #medindia

Inside the Study

Published in Scientific Reports, the study followed 208 adults over a two-week period using smartphone surveys five times a day. Participants reported whether they had recently experienced one of four types of situations:

Feeling self-critical
Trying to regulate their emotions
Preparing for a task or speech
Feeling pleased with themselves

They also indicated whether they used immersed self-talk (“I”) or distanced self-talk (“you” or their name). Across nearly 13,000 daily check-ins, immersed self-talk dominated; however, those rare moments of distanced self-talk showed measurable emotional benefits.

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The Emotional Edge of Distance

In preparatory or performance settings, such as before a speech, meeting, or exam, people who used distanced self-talk reported slightly better moods than those who used “I.” The effect was modest (about 0.09 standard deviations in positive affect) but statistically reliable.

Lead author Kinneret Schertz explains that referring to oneself by name creates psychological distance, allowing the brain to regulate emotions more effectively. It activates areas related to self-control and perspective, much like motivating a friend rather than critiquing yourself.

Interestingly, researchers found no connection between self-talk and narcissism or distress, suggesting that distanced self-talk is a universal coping tool, not an ego-driven habit.

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Why It Matters

Distanced self-talk helps people shift from emotional immersion to self-guidance. It turns “I’m nervous” into “You’ve got this — you’ve done it before.”That subtle linguistic shift can reduce physiological stress and sharpen focus, small advantages that can make a significant difference under pressure.

Yet, while people engage in self-talk frequently (about 60% of sampled moments), few use this more effective “distanced” version. Researchers suggest that practicing it intentionally may improve real-world emotional resilience.

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How to Use It in Real Life

Before presentations or performances: Say, “Okay, Riya, take a deep breath and start strong.”
When anxious: Reframe stress with distance. “You can handle this.”
In parenting or coaching: Encourage with the child’s name, “You’ve practiced hard; show what you’ve learned.”
In therapy or mindfulness: Pair distanced self-talk with breathing or reframing techniques.

While benefits are subtle, they’re consistent — and, importantly, risk-free.

Final Takeaway

Talking to yourself isn’t odd; it’s an emotional strategy. The study reveals that switching from “I” to “you” can create a small but significant emotional buffer, particularly before high-pressure moments.

So next time nerves kick in, skip “I’m so stressed” and try “You’ve got this, [Your Name].” It’s a simple mental shift, but sometimes, that’s all the calm you need.

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