Worst Mistakes Parents Make When Talking to Kids

What are the Most Common Parenting Mistakes While Talking to Kids?

Parenting is one of the most challenging jobs in the world. Yet, unfortunately, there is no qualification required to become a parent. Parenting has become a life stage that people enter just because they are of a certain age without consideration for all that goes into being a parent.

About 28.2% of children and adolescents suffered from mental health issues, the predominant condition being anxiety disorders(1^✔ ✔Trusted Source
Top 10 Communication Mistakes That Parents Make

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The approach of parents in handling kids needs to be honed to fit the child’s needs. Schools need to conduct workshops on “How to Talk to Children?” for parents and teachers. Such initiatives can prevent long-term ill effects. Let us understand how unhealthy communication by parents can affect children.

There are several ways by which unhealthy communication occurs. They are:

• Criticism – The way things are phrased is very important. When parents criticize the child for the way he thinks or feels, the child is likely to develop self-doubt(4^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  4 Toxic Communication Styles To Avoid In Your Relationship
  
  Go to source).
• Defensiveness – There are times when parents cannot keep up their words. At this juncture, they must take responsibility rather than acting defensive(4^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  4 Toxic Communication Styles To Avoid In Your Relationship
  
  Go to source).
• Contempt – This involves sarcasm, name-calling, mocking, and ridicule. This can lead to the child feeling worthless or incapable(4^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  4 Toxic Communication Styles To Avoid In Your Relationship
  
  Go to source).
• Stonewalling – This is a form of complete withdrawal and shutting down from the situation(4^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  4 Toxic Communication Styles To Avoid In Your Relationship
  
  Go to source).
• Dismissing – This involves not considering what the child says.
• Labeling – Labeling a child as bad or stupid can lead to the child evaluating themselves negatively(1^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  Top 10 Communication Mistakes That Parents Make
  
  Go to source).

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• Preoccupation – Lack of proper attention or not listening when talking can make the child feel unheard(6^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  Conditions That Hinder Effective Communication
  
  Go to source).
• Inarticulateness – When parents don’t communicate clearly, children can misunderstand what is trying to be said altogether(6^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  Conditions That Hinder Effective Communication
  
  Go to source).
• Lecturing – Children have short attention spans. Excessive talking can lead to words going above their head(1^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  Top 10 Communication Mistakes That Parents Make
  
  Go to source).
• Comparing – Comparing children with siblings or other children can be very toxic. Children can be left feeling unwanted and inadequate. Such behavior can foster sibling rivalry.
• Threats and nagging – Repeated nagging and emotionally blackmailing kids can have several harmful effects. The child is likely to shut off or guilt-trip themselves. Lying to the child or using fear to control them is toxic(1^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  Top 10 Communication Mistakes That Parents Make
  
  Go to source).
• Shouting and interrupting – Using a raised voice or constantly interrupting children can hinder their communication ability. This can lead them to be passive(1^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  Top 10 Communication Mistakes That Parents Make
  
  Go to source).
• Body language – Children not only pick up words, but they are also paying keen attention to the body language of parents. Signs of frustration like tapping the feet, sighing, frowning, or rolling one’s eyes can be misunderstood by children(1^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  Top 10 Communication Mistakes That Parents Make
  
  Go to source).

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What are the Effects of Dysfunctional Communication?

The effects of dysfunctional communication are long-lasting and harmful, as can be seen below(7^✔ ✔Trusted Source
The Effects of Poor Family Communication

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• Anxiety and depression
• Behavioral issues
• Low self-esteem
• Frequent conflict
• Stress and worrying
• Substance abuse
• Criminal activity
• Aggression
• Poor interpersonal relationships
• Poor communication
• Lack of intimacy and bonding(8^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  2 Families First Connection
  
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How to Communicate with Children Effectively?

It has been established why communicating with children effectively is of paramount importance. First and foremost, effective communication involves being mindful while talking.

Considering that children are still learning, the parents must take responsibility for the communication to a greater extent. Parents should be open and respectful when they talk to the child. Clarity is also essential to prevent misunderstandings. Simple vocabulary aids clear and better understanding.

Regular family time in the form of vacations or spending time together playing board games, sharing a meal, or watching television can contribute to shared positive experiences, which can foster communication(9^✔ ✔Trusted Source
Poor Family Communication

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Avoiding imposition on children helps them voice their ideas. Similarly, encouraging them to speak can also be beneficial. Admitting that one doesn’t know something helps avoid unhealthy patterns like defensiveness(10^✔ ✔Trusted Source
Consequences of Poor Family Communication

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Thinking from the child’s point of view can enhance how one talks to their child. Avoiding all forms of unhealthy dysfunctional communication is necessary. Speaking calmly and patiently even when a child does not understand helps in conversations. Effective communication also means that the child feels included in the decision-making process as they have a say.

Children can be reinforced for healthy communication with praise. Rules for communication apply to all at home, such as no swearing. Children observe and learn from actions; therefore, parents must ensure they act according to their words, not preach and fail to practice.

Professional help can also be sought to improve communication patterns within the family. An objective perspective can help the family members see things more clearly.

Ways to Improve Your Parenting Skills

There are various parenting styles, namely:

• Authoritative parenting involves open communication, collaborative problem solving, and clear rules.
• Authoritarian parenting is driven by parents and involves strict rules and punishment.
• Neglectful parenting is the absence and indifference to a child’s needs.
• Permissive parenting is child-determined and consists of a lack of regulations(11^✔ ✔Trusted Source
  A psychologist shares the 4 styles of parenting-and the type that researchers say is the most successful
  
  Go to source).

Improving parenting skills include active listening, providing positive reinforcement, reassurance, a safe and secure space for the child to be open without hesitation, allowing the child to have their autonomy, and accepting the child unconditionally. In addition to this, being a teammate to the child, not the opposition, supporting the child’s interests and dreams, holding the child accountable for their behavior, and not labeling them altogether, and giving the child the space they require.

Each child is different and has a different temperament, and parenting needs to be molded according to this. Some are easy to approach, while others may be very timid. Every children have different need.

Parenting is not a destination but a process. It is natural for parents to face hiccups when raising children. But informed, educated parents are more likely to provide a suitable atmosphere for children to grow in.