by Savitha C Muppala on  August 23, 2010 at 11:30 PM General Health News
 Ways to Handle the Instability of  Roundabout Relationships
The present day couples seem to be breaking off and getting back and breaking off, yet again, and the same cycle keeps repeating.

University of Texas professor Rene Dailey said that more than 60 percent men and women have gone through the relationship roundabout, and about 40 percent are going through it in their current relationships - with the same partner.

According to The Daily Telegraph, Dailey's research reveals that, compared with relationships that do not break up and renew, on-off partners report more unresolved conflict and more criticisms, verbal attacks and other forms of aggressive communication.

Plummeting self-esteem, nagging doubts, an increased risk of depression and anxiety are just some of the problems that couples face.

Then why get into it in the first place?

"It's the triumph of hope," said Dr Helen McGrath, a counselling psychologist and lecturer at Deakin University.

"People don't easily give up when it comes to relationships. Often they feel there's a huge investment at stake, and a sense that, 'Well, I've given it so many years, I might as well see if I can make it work'," she said.

Plus, getting used to being in a relationship is hard to deal with in the single world.

Here's how to decide, once and for all, whether to stay or go.

Recognize the boomerang dynamic for what it is. One-time reconciliation after a bust-up is understandable; maybe two if there were unusual stresses involved. "But when it comes to the third time, you've got to accept that it's a pattern and it ain't gonna get any better," Meredith Fuller says.

Seek advice from a therapist who can provide some perspective.

Cut ties rather than trying to remain friends. "A lot of people waste time thinking if they stay friends and sleep together, the other person will come to their senses," McGrath said.

"But that rarely happens."

Be brutally honest and refuse to offer false hope to yourself or anyone else.

Source: ANI

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