Father Who Killed Epileptic Son Says He Misses Him

''Within a day or two, I was beginning to plan suicides and began thinking my son was going through so much pain himself. Then I started planning a murder-suicide, and then just murder. It became my mission to kill Ian,'' Carmichael told Free Press reporter Jennifer O'Brien. Before he began taking the drug, Carmichael was a loving father.

He said he began thinking that Ian had permanent brain damage and would kill his sister and cause problems for his mother. ''To me, at the time, killing Ian was an act of love and protection,'' Carmichael said, adding that Paxil was a bad drug.

A spokesperson for GlaxoSmithKline refuted these charges, ''David Carmichael's case is certainly a terrible tragedy,'' said Peter Schram. ''However, we do not believe Paxil played any part in this situation.''