If smart technology wasn't enough, one British company thought it would be a good idea to create a "smart condom" that can track everything from performance to girth size to even calories burned during sex.
It is discovered that a company has created a "smart condom". In a world where you can track how many steps you take each day or how many hours you sleep at night, there should be a device that measures a man's penis health too.
No, a smart condom isn't a device that prompts you to make better decisions by asking you at 3am whether sleeping with your work colleague is really the best idea. That would actually be vaguely useful. This is more like a FitBit for your private parts.
The British developers claim that this type of wearable tech is a world first and we're inclined to believe them, because it's unlikely anyone else has come up with a concept this bonkers.
The device is a small ring that fits on the penis around the base of a regular condom. Once things kick off, it uses a nano chip and sensors to keep track of the speed and number of thrusts, skin temperature, session duration, number of positions used and calories burned.
Afterwards you can share your stats with your friends or the world, by importing them to your computer with a USB plug in. You can also compare your stats anonymously with other users, if you're that type of person.
Recording everything from how many calories are burnt during intercourse, speed and total number of thrusts, frequency of sessions along with total duration, girth measurement and how many different positions used, the reusable ring is literally the gift that keeps on giving.
Developers for the device, who say it won't be on the market until late 2017, note that the ring will also double as a STI indicator with an antibodies filter that will send an alert to your phone if it detects any antigens and proteins found in any sexually transmitted diseases or infections.