Out of favour Australian all-rounder Andrew Symonds has experienced days when he just did not want to get out of bed.
Struggling to come to terms with life as one of Australia's most recognized sportsmen, Symonds is undergoing counseling for alcohol abuse, and says that he is making some sort of a recovery.
The all-rounder took a break during the Bulls Shield game against Victoria and spoke of his desire to win back his baggy green, binge drinking, the ill-fated interview with Roy and HG, and the breakdown of his relationship with girlfriend Katie Johnson.
The warning signs were loud and clear. From his decision to go fishing in Darwin to getting carried away on radio, Symonds was crying out for help.
"They didn't sit me down and tell me I was diagnosed with depression. But I was affected somehow. There was no piece of paper that said I had depression . . . but I may have. A deliberate part of counselling is they don't sit there and try to destroy you with some computer read-out or way that they've analysed you," The Sunday mail newspaper of Queensland quoted him, as saying.
"But I had bad days and really bad days, and then I had great days and really great weeks. It's all part of my personal development and improving. These bushfires and this terrorism stuff towards the Sri Lankans, it puts things into perspective. Walking out there and scoring no runs is pretty unimportant if you have had your house burnt down and you have lost your family," he added.
"Things like that have helped me realize what's important in life," Symonds said.
His counselling rock is Deidre Anderson, renowned for working with Ian Thorpe and Cathy Freeman.
"I've become more tolerant of the way I've got to live. That's the thing that used to frustrate me. (Counselling) really helped. I'll see it right through because it's been great for me," he says.
He admits he had a problem and is taking steps to fix it.
"Yeah, there were days where I was drinking too much and binge drinking, using it as an excuse if I'd had a bad day or if something hadn't gone right. The answer for me is controlling it and knowing when to have a beer and what's appropriate. I believe I've done that well now," he says.