Jokes - Cardiology

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A Catholic Heart Attack

Submitted By: Chitra Muralidhar | Current Rating: 7.2
A man suffered a serious heart attack and consequently had a quadruple heart bypass surgery. He woke up to find that he was in the care of nuns at a catholic hospital. When he had recovered sufficiently a nun began to ask him questions as to how he was going to pay for the treatment he has had. ...

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oh God!!

Submitted By: Dhaval | Current Rating: 3.7
What is difference between god and cardiologist?...

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Married Nuns

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 6.4
A man suffered a heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. Post surgery he woke up to find himself under the care of nuns at a Catholic private hospital.
On his way to recovery, a senior nun and her pretty assistant came up to him and asked him regarding how he was going to pay for services.

He was asked if he had health insurance. he replied in a raspy weak voice, "No"

The nun asked if he had any money in the bank. He replied, "No" The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?" He said, "I only have a spinster sister who is also a nun."

The junior nun got a little perturbed and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to the lord." The patient replied, "Then please send the bill to my brother in law."

...

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TRUE STORY:

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 3.6
A man was in the waiting room filling out a questionnaire prior to having his stress test. He was standing chatting with the receptionist as he completed the paperwork. He told the receptionist he was here to "get me some of that Veeayra (Viagra) stuff but they are making me run for it". His wife gasps and runs up to the desk where her husband is chatting with the receptionist. She says, I have to go for tetanus shot. "Oh my", replies the startled receptionist, "Did you cut yourself?" "HAH" she snorts, "If he is going to crank up that rusty old piece of equipment I am going to need it!"f. ...

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Probability of Success

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 4.2
Patient: What is the probability of success in undergoing a bypass surgery?...

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Heart Surgeon vs. Mechanic

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 6.7
In a car garage, where a famous heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to take a look at his Mercedes, there was a loud mouthed mechanic who was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car. He saw the surgeon waiting and lured him into an argument. ...

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Heart transplant

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 2
A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man....

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Get a heart transplant

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1.9
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds. "Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?" "No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."...

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Bad news

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 7.1
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."...

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Doctor's Funeral

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 8.4
A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed. Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?" "I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied. "What's so funny about that?" "I'm a gynecologist." ...

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Always leave them laughing when you say goodbye

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Funny tit bits from everywhere. You're sure to laugh your brains out...

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The best of gooers from the future medical men, these are contributions from first year medical studens...


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Adult Humor only for above 18 years

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