Jokes - Psychiatry

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Total No. of Records - 34 Page / 1 of 4

Nut Bolt Screws

Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 2
An inmate escaped from the lunatic hospital. As he was sex-starved, he raped the first woman he saw on the roads.

The tabloid carried the head...

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Bates and his son

Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 4.1
Mr. Bates was introducing his family members to his Psychiatrist friend. Bates: Please meet my wife Mrs. Bates, my daughter Miss Bates and then my so...

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Overheard conversation

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
"I'm treating a patient with a split personality," boasted a Psychiatrist "and Medicare pays for both of them!" ...

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Worried fan

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 4.3
An ardent fan of the actress Marilyn Monroe visited a psychiatrist and said, "Doc, I'm worried. I have the entire ceiling and all the walls of my bedr...

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Submitted By: | Current Rating: 6.3
The patient thought he was dead. His psychiatrist had him stand before a mirror and repeat many times, "Dead men don't bleed."

Then he stuc...

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Vital point

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
A woman was in her psychiatrist's office, terribly upset after a bad dream.

"Now", soothed the psychiatrist, "tell me about this dream you ...

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Break my arms!

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
"Doc," said the young man lying down on the couch, "you've got to help me!
Every night I have the same horrible dream. I'm lying in bed when ...

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Mental calculation

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
The difference between a neurotic and a psychotic is that, while a psychotic thinks that 2 + 2 = 5, a neurotic knows the answer is 4, but it worries h...

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Depression Recycled

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
Patient: I have a problem doctor.I feel depressed and worthless.
Doctor: You should cut down on your drinks.
Patient: ...

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The three shrinks!

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 5.5
While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a walk. "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears," one says, "but we have ...

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Laughter Quotations

Laughter is the most healthful exertion.

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Miscellaneous quotes

'Faculty lines' from the big guys of Health care

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Conversations overheard

Funny tit bits from everywhere. You're sure to laugh your brains out...

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Funny Definitions

The best of gooers from the future medical men, these are contributions from first year medical studens...

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Adult Medical Humor

Adult Humor only for above 18 years

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