Jokes - Psychiatry

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Total No. of Records - 34

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Nut Bolt Screws

Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 2
An inmate escaped from the lunatic hospital. As he was sex-starved, he raped the first woman he saw on the roads. ...

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Bates and his son

Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 4.1
Mr. Bates was introducing his family members to his Psychiatrist friend. Bates: Please meet my wife Mrs. Bates, my daughter Miss Bates and then my son Master Bates. Psychiatrist: Does he? Send him to my clinic. I will make him alright....

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Overheard conversation

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
"I'm treating a patient with a split personality," boasted a Psychiatrist "and Medicare pays for both of them!" ...

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Worried fan

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 4.3
An ardent fan of the actress Marilyn Monroe visited a psychiatrist and said, "Doc, I'm worried. I have the entire ceiling and all the walls of my bedroom covered with marilyn Monroe calendars."...

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Submitted By: | Current Rating: 6.3
The patient thought he was dead. His psychiatrist had him stand before a mirror and repeat many times, "Dead men don't bleed."...

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Vital point

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
A woman was in her psychiatrist's office, terribly upset after a bad dream....

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Break my arms!

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
"Doc," said the young man lying down on the couch, "you've got to help me!...

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Mental calculation

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
The difference between a neurotic and a psychotic is that, while a psychotic thinks that 2 + 2 = 5, a neurotic knows the answer is 4, but it worries him....

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Depression Recycled

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
Patient: I have a problem doctor.I feel depressed and worthless....

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The three shrinks!

Submitted By: | Current Rating: 5.5
While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a walk. "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears," one says, "but we have no one to go to with our own problems." "Since we're all professionals," another suggests, "why don't we hear each other out right now?" They agreed this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I usually overbill my patients as often as I can." The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me." The third psychiatrist says, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret." ...

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Laughter Quotations

Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either.

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Miscellaneous quotes

'Faculty lines' from the big guys of Health care

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Conversations overheard

Funny tit bits from everywhere. You're sure to laugh your brains out...

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Funny Definitions

The best of gooers from the future medical men, these are contributions from first year medical studens...

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Adult Medical Humor

Adult Humor only for above 18 years

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