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Coerced Sex Among Young Wives in India

by Gopalan on  October 11, 2007 at 2:47 PM Medindia Exclusive   - G J E 4
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While a survey reveals that coerced sex is the dominant pattern in certain parts of India, a sexologist calls for education to bring about attitudinal changes in the Indian male.
Coerced Sex Among Young Wives in India
Coerced Sex Among Young Wives in India

A recent survey confirms general perceptions of the way sex is practiced in most Indian families. Nearly half of young wives in the Indian states of Gujarat (in the west) and West Bengal (in the east) experience unwanted sex: 12% frequently and another 32% occasionally, according to "Consent and Coercion: Examining Unwanted Sex Among Married Young Women in India," which appears in the September 2007 issue of International Family Planning Perspectives.

Using survey data and in-depth interviews with 1,644 young married women, authors K.G. Santhya of the Population Council and others identify factors that predict a woman's likelihood of experiencing unwanted sex with her husband. They find that wealthier women, women who knew their husbands before they got married and women whose husbands support them during family conflicts are less likely than their peers to experience unwanted sex.

Frequent coerced sex is more likely to occur among recently married young women than among pregnant women or new mothers, suggesting that the pressure to have a first child leaves some young married women especially vulnerable to sexual coercion. In addition, the more circumstances in which a woman believes it is justifiable for a husband to beat his wife, the more likely she is to experience unwanted sex. Young women with lower levels of education are also at greater risk than their more educated peers, the survey says.

Attitudinal change necessary to put an end to coerced Sex- Dr.Reddy

Reacting to the findings, Dr.D.Narayana Reddy, a renowned sexologist based in Chennai, said that while he had not come across the survey himself and hence could not comment on the reliability of the findings, coerced sex was almost inevitable given the patriarchal culture widely prevalent in India.

"The male is made to believe that he is somehow a prized being right through. He has the first claim on all good things of life, good food, good dress and good education. So pampered is he that when he steps into the bedroom, he thinks he has the right of passage! He never waits to find out whether his spouse wants sex, whether she is in a mood for that or what her physical condition is. He needs sex and he must get it. And when it is denied, he flies into a rage," Dr.Reddy told Medindia.

And worse most women tend to internalize the male attitude to sex. 'When they want it, we can't hold back. We have to co-operate, whatever our own problems.' That is how women in an average Indian household seem to behave, and the legacy was passed on from generation to generation.

Dr.Reddy feels such a me-first attitude on the part of males cuts across education, caste and wealth.

However the silver lining in the cloud is that increasingly women have begun to challenge such traditional values.

Going for jobs, contributing to the family kitty and exposure to the outside world have all helped Indian women assert themselves, though this is happening on a small scale, perhaps an essentially urban phenomenon.

Still such a change is coming about, and it is heartening. The male can no more take his partner for granted and should be ready to face resistance. He may have to lay off too, if necessary.

And he has to be concerned with fulfilling the sexual needs of his spouse too and realize sex cannot be a one way traffic. Dr.Reddy also agrees that there should be programmes aimed at counseling newly wed young males against seeking to coerce their spouses into sex.

But he is skeptical whether such programmes by themselves would yield desired results. "A wholesale attitudinal change is called for if Indian women are to enjoy sex and not view it as some fealty owed. Man has to stop strutting around as if he is the master of everything he surveys, even if within the household. 'She's my wife, she's my chattel, she's my anything' - that kind of attitude should go. But that's easier said than done. Ours being a society still steeped in patriarchal traditions, targeted programmes here or there will not work. A massive educational campaign is required for the purpose. The media has a very big role to play in this. But having said that, let me also repeat that such changes are brought about only over a period of time, consequent on far-reaching socio-economic transformation," Dr.Reddy said.

A couple of days ago a condom-manufacturing firm had claimed that according to a survey conducted by it, Indians were among the most satisfied lot in the world when it came to sex.

Asked about the claims, the Chennai expert shot back - "Do you know that a similar survey conducted by the very same firm last year said Indians fared very badly? How come such a dramatic change in the space of a year? It's absolute rubbish. Their methodology is all deficient and their findings should be discarded as used condoms are ..."

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Hi all I am Hamal from Ahmedabad and I am a strong promoter of EMR i.e Extra Marital Relations specifically for women i have this belief because in our region i.e. in Gujarat majority of people are involved with small-mdiaum OR big bussiness as a result of that they are not in position to give total satisfaction to their betterhalf and this will result in sexual suffering for women OR sepreseed desire of sex for women whuich is against nature hence they sholud come out and get satisfied doing so they will be physically as well as mentally health.
hamkum Wednesday, April 20, 2011
this is absolutely correct
thats why there are so many indian married & sexually unsatisfied indian women aunties bhabhis seeking men for extra maritial sex

bmindwomen Wednesday, May 06, 2009
I have been married since 18 months,had sex with my wife for around 15 times in the first 11/2 months ,then on, she started behaving rash to me and complained to her parents saying I was trying to hit her and scold her. Then she said, she is pregnant and went to her mother's place,she doesn't even call me up.She bore a child 6 months back.I bore all the expenses.
I suggested divorce, as she is not heeding to my call to come home, she says, she wants to stay with her mom,a little longer,but refuses seperation.Her brother in law along with her sisters are in the scenerio of supporting her to stay at their place.
Is it possible, that, she is in a long term relation with someone near her home? or is she bearing someone elses child? and, has made me a scapegoat to escape the social stigmas.
Our marriage was an arranged marriage settled in a month because of a hurry from the girl's side.

guest Thursday, July 24, 2008
Go to her house and reason with her. She maybe depressed - happens in pregnancy.unlikely to be in long term relationship with a baby to look after - a fll time job. all the best
sunny1 Saturday, March 07, 2009
That is why you do not have arranged marriages. More than 50 of marriages in the US end in divorce. Men always pay, even when it is not right.
guest Friday, May 22, 2009
I am Kumar from Hyderabad , India aged 27 years unmarried guy. I have a problem. I am masturbating since 7 years on an average 4 times a week from the age of 21. now i feel my penis became narrow in the base and the penis size is drastically reduced,.the girth and length were reduced and even if i have erection i cant last longer. the erect penis size is only 9.5 cms. i am very frustated and worrying a lot on this bad masturbating habit.My penis has also been bent to the left side with the habbit of right hand masturbation. i am getting married in the coming year.

why do doctors say that masturbation never reduces size of penis, weak erection and it is a healthy habbit. see in my case i lost penis hardness which i had before starting masturbation at the age of 21 before 7 years from now. my penis lookslike a child penis.
but how are these problems in men like what i am facing now get cured if we adopt masturbation .

I am not getting rock hard erections like what I used to get when I am 21 before I started masturbating.

suggest me the possible ways how I can getback my erectile stamina .


regards,

kumar

guest Friday, March 07, 2008
It is not the size that matters - what matters to the girl is how you perform with whatever you have 9.5 cms is fine and by no means small.
guest Saturday, March 07, 2009
hi Kumar,I want to suggest that you have to massage with mustard oil[from upward to downward] on regular basis, if u can, then do this twice daily and after one month u will feel the change. do this.................................
tumhara Wednesday, July 21, 2010
i need to know where can i by penise enlargment divices and tablets at doha qatara
guest Thursday, November 08, 2007

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