Brits holidaying abroad are often confused with clumsily translated signs about women being diseases, people being ordered to play with the opposite sex in public or told to take advantage of the chambermaid, says a survey.
There were even signs at an airline ticket office in Copenhagen, which told visitors that the airline will take their bags and send them in all directions.
British tourists arriving at a hotel in Budapest to find a sign saying that the lift was being fixed for the day and during that time the management regretfully informed visitors that their stay would be unbearable.
A Zurich hotel lobby had a sign stating that because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In Yugoslavia, the flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid and in Japan visitors are invited to take advantage of the staff.
Launderettes' windows in Rome, promises that if women leave their clothes they can spend the whole afternoon having a good time, a similar sign in Bangkok asked men to drop their trousers for the best results.
In Tokyo, ladies with nuts are served special cocktails, and in Norway ladies are requested not to have children at the bar, and if their children are left unattended, they will be sold to the circus.
Austria has a sign stating, children left unattended will be sold as slaves.
"English speakers are among the most heavily travelled people in the world and so it's no wonder touristy places try to appeal to them by translating signs and menus," the Telegraph quoted Chris Brown, managing director of sunshine.co.uk, the online travel agent who compiled the translations, as saying.
"However, the problems come when these translations are completely inaccurate.
"The above examples are just a bit of fun and aren't likely to offend anyone, other than chambermaids, but when menu translations wind up saying 'delicious roasted hepatitis', companies are bound to lose lots of business!" he added.