Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1.1 
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!" ...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 4.5 
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor
gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing
physically wrong with him,and then told him,
"Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just
have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you."
"I know" said the man,
"but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 4 
Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a State hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said, 'Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?'
The lady said, 'My phone doesn't have an eleven.'...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1 
There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls he stopped coming to the farm. The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask whats the matter, didn't he like him or somethin'. The doctor said, "No, its your ducks at the entrance...every time I enter the farm, they verbally insult me!"...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1.1
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What is that, a bonus? I think the cycle is all backwards. You should die first. Get it out of the way. Then live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party. You get ready for High School. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a baby. You go into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating...you finish off as an orgasm. ...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.
Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change."...
Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself for he shall never cease to be entertained.
View allFunny tit bits from everywhere. You're sure to laugh your brains out...
View allThe best of gooers from the future medical men, these are contributions from first year medical studens...
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