Become a member

X
Quick Registration


Full Registration Benefits -

Free Homepages for Doctors

Free Homepages for Hospitals

Free Homepages for Medical Conference

Free Homepages for NGO's

Personal Health Record Creation

Access to all Medical Slides

Access to all Jobs & Products Sale

Custom Search
Explore Medindia
Medindia » Medical Humour » Miscellaneous Quotes

Miscellaneous Quotes
 
From a Health Education Authority leaflet on Sexually Transmitted
Diseases :-
"We don't know why, but it seems that men don't get bacterial vaginosis."



An apology that appeared recently in The Safety And Health Practitioner :- SORRY. We would like to apologise to readers for the late arrival of our March issue, which was entitled 'Flammable Materials : Controlling the Hazard!' The delay was caused by a fire at the printers.



Advert in the BMJ :-
FOR SALE : Real bone half-skeleton, in better condition than seller. Ģ250.



Seen in the BBC canteen in Manchester :-
In the interests of hygiene, please use tongues when picking up your baked potatoes.



From an article on stomach trouble :-
'Doctors are beginning to accept that stomach ulcers are infectious.  They are caused by a bug called Helicopter'.



From More! :-
'Your chance of catching an STD during your period is greater, because the blood changes the PhD level in the vagina'.



From the Daily Mail :-
'Choking patients can now be incubated to maintain their airwaves!'



The Sunday Times explanation for the extinction of the dinosaurs :-
'The extinction may well have occurred when a steroid hit the Earth'.


Another Newspaper Misprint :-
'The Welsh international had to withdraw when the cut turned sceptic'.



From a Sunday Newspaper :-
'The surgeon said he'd removed my momentum - the funny apron of fat that covers the intestines'.

The Workshop Bugle recently carried a news report about a chap who'd happily
'recovered from a tuna of the kidney'.



An excerpt from Pulse :-
'If we are over-diagnosing asthma, then we must be under-diagnosing the other causes of nocturnal cough, such as post-natal drip'.



From a national newspaper :-
'Cutting down on fats reduces the risk of heart disease.  Try to choose unsaturated fats, which are found in red meat, milk, cheese, coconut oil, palm oil and butter ...'



From the Daily Mail :-
'A transplant surgeon has called for a ban on "kidneys-for-ale" operations'.



From a Local Paper :-
'On the Sunday before Christmas, there will be a pot-luck supper in the church hall, followed by prayers and medication'.



From the South Wales Evening Post :-
'Cash plea to aid dyslexic children'.



An interesting health tip from Q magazine :-
'In America you can buy melatonln as a vitamin supplement.  It is a hormone that your penile gland secretes when it gets dark'.

Print  Miscellaneous Quotes
Email to friend

Laughter Quotations

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

Miscellaneous quotes

'Faculty lines' from the big guys of Health care

Conversations overheard

Funny tit bits from everywhere. You're sure to laugh your brains out...

Funny Definitions

The best of gooers from the future medical men, these are contributions from first year medical studens...

Adult Medical Humour

Adult Humour only for above 18 years

Search Jokes

Post a Jokes

Make your own contribution to make others blast off with laughter. To add your jokes

 

Select a News Category


Consumers
Online Consults Child Health Teen Health Men's Health Women's Health Senior Health Sexual Health Mental Health Dental Health Kidney Health
Diabetes Obesity Vision Care Diet & Nutrition Know Your Body Amazing Body Facts Health Facts Conditions by Specialties Disease FAQs Medical Humour
Medical Professionals
Health Calculators Health Videos Animation Slides Medical Aphorism Medical Conferences Jobs Journals Web Journals Open Access E-articles
Distance education Doctors Homepage Hospitals Homepage Personalize Info Matrimonial Print Oath Alumni Medical Humour Buy Medical Books Health Statistics
Medical Students
Admissions Medical Colleges Medical Electives Medical Aphorism Post Grad Courses Indian Universities USMLE Centers CGFNS Centers
FRCS in UK PLAB USMLE CGFNS Alumni MCQ Bank Medical Humour Buy Medical Books
Directories
Doctors Hospitals International Hospitals Chemists Surgical Suppliers NGOs Pharmaceuticals Medical Colleges
About us Affiliate Program Career Contact Us Content Syndication Partnership Inquires Portfolio Press Request to Use Medindia Content Sitemap Unsubscribe
Disclaimer - The contents of this site are for informational purposes only. Always seek the advice of a qualified physician for any doubts.
Advertise with us Medindia Copyright Privacy Policy Terms of Use
© All Rights Reserved 1997 - 2013